Sunday, August 18, 2013

{ marriage is hard }

For the past few years our marriage had been going down a dark path that neither of us recognized until it was almost too late.  It led to this...

The stress of our marriage problems landed us an ER visit after MJ having a series of seizures and a bought of confusion.  3 days on the med/surg floor at one hospital before being transferred to the University hospital for another 2 days.  Series of blood work, seizure medications, scans, and a video EEG.  Luckily it wasn't a seizure disorder.  But it made us both realize how close we were to losing everything we had wanted and ever dreamed of as husband and wife.

When MJ and I said "I do" almost 8 years ago, I would have never imagined this where we would ever end up.  Both of us so checked out from our marriage and each other that when we "woke up" we didn't recognize who we had married.  Neither one of us carries more of the blame than the other, we are both equally responsible, just in different ways.

The past few weeks since MJ has come home, we have spent trying to get things back to a steady routine, with major changes.  It has resulted in MJ needing to find a new job, the boys going to daycare full time, and me working as much as possible to make ends meet until MJ can start a new job.  But it's also blessed us.  We've had more time as a family.  Our nights are filled with games, movies, and parks.  I go to sleep every night with my husband next to me.  I have a partner to rely on in the middle of the night when no one is sleeping.  Days off where it's just MJ and I are spent getting to know each other again.

It feels like we are on a better track and on the same page.  It's going to be rocky while we still find our footing as a couple and a family, but I couldn't picture anyone else by my side.

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