Tuesday, July 31, 2012

{ exhausted }

At 32 weeks I feel like I have hit a brick wall.  Although I'm sure it has to do more with how exhausting this week is both physically and emotionally more than anything else.

I'm at the end of 6 day stretch at work.  I've been running around getting everything pulled together for Bailey to leave on Thursday and I still have no clue when I'll be loading him on the trailer.  Plus we have another follow up ultrasound on Thursday before our big meeting with the Pediatric Urologist next week.

On top of that  I've been trying to get our apartment ready and Evan settled with school starting soon and getting him back into swim lessons, I think I'm about to lose my ever lovin' mind.  Plus little baby has decided that letting me get any sort of sleep is for the birds.

By Friday afternoon I hope that I spend the entire weekend getting all the sleep I could ever want before the baby comes.  And I know these last few weeks are going to be rough and before I know it, Alex will be here and it will be whole other type of exhausted.

Friday, July 27, 2012

{ getting some practice }

{ Evan and his cousin, Addison }

Ever since my niece and nephew were born a little over 2 months ago, everytime Evan has been around the twins, we've tried to talk Evan into holding one of them.  He was never interested and said he would just watch.  He said that he would hold "our baby" (aka Alex) but he wasn't to sure about the twins.

Then today I got a text from my SIL with this picture.  I'm not exactly sure how they talked him into it.  I figured that maybe they bribed him.  But when I asked him about it he said that after they had asked him to hold one of the twins, he said yes because he needed some practice for Alex.

Evan has always been an awesome cousin.  He is the oldest of many and he has always wanted to play and watch out for the younger ones.  He's never quite sure about them when they are babies, but as they get older, he's all over them.

But because of that, I know he's going to make an awesome big brother.  He's so excited for Alex to be here and apart of our family.  Every night he says good night to my belly and when ever he sees my belly jump from Alex rolling around, he wants to feel.

While I'm sure there will be an adjustment period and probably some jealousy issues... but I think that everything is going to be fantastic and Evan's going to want to help out as much as he can.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

{ friday letters }


Dear Boys :  I'm so proud of you.  You finally got your act together to get me a birthday present.  Yes...it's two and a half weeks late...but I love it and it was worth the wait.  But I totally would have been okay with a bag of M&M's too.

{ my new toy :: a nook tablet }

Dear Birthday Present :  I totally heart you.  I'm still learning how to operate you and all the cool things you can do.  Evan's pretty excited that you can actually read books to him.  (I'm hoping that when we're in the hospital...you might become a good distraction for him)

Dear Bailey:  Only a week left until you are leaving for your adventure to Kansas.  My mom is so excited to have you.  I'm not sure she'll keep you, but just know you are going to get your butt worked which is what you have needed since January but I haven't been able to do.

{ baby legs }

Dear Baby Things :  You are so stinkin' cute.  I forgot how much fun shopping for baby stuff is.  Yes there is quite a bit of you that I still have no idea where I'm going to store you, but I'm looking forward to actually being able to use you in the next 7 weeks.

{ carver side grandbabies }

Dear MIL :  You have no idea how touched I am that you included Charlie on your list of babies on the floor.  That very simple act has touched my heart and has helped heal it a little bit (Charlie was the name we gave the baby that I miscarried at 10 1/2 weeks almost a year ago)

{ the only time it's okay to color on the floor }

Today after meeting with the vet to get Bailey all set for his big move to Kansas, Evan and I met Mike at the inlaws home.  They had pulled up all their carpert to have it replaced later that morning.  When they had it done before, they let the kids (Mike and his sister) color on the floor before the new carpert was put in.  So this time,  they said that if we came back over before the new carpet was put in, Evan could leave his mark on their floor too.

{ coloring on the floor }

He had a blast.  He thought it was the coolest thing in the world to be allowed to color on the floor without being yelled at.  And now, his mark will forever be on that house and maybe even a surprise for future owners if they ever replace the carpet.

{ our names }

{ a flying saucer }

{ robot }

Sunday, July 22, 2012

{ looking forward to you }

Just 8 weeks, I will be finishing packing and getting ready for you.  The next day, your daddy and I will head off early in the morning for your arrival.

I couldn't be more excited and nervous at the same time.  But I'm looking so forward to you and all the things that having a new baby in our home will mean.

I'm looking forward to those quiet moments when the rest of the world is sleeping and its just me and you.

I'm looking forward to you coos, cries, and smiles.

I'm looking forward to tiny toes, fingers, and ears.

I'm looking forward to that very first moment that I get to see you and hold you close to my chest.

I'm looking forward to seeing your daddy hold you for the very first time.

I'm looking forward to introducing you to your brother (he's probably just as excited for your pending arrival as we are)

I'm looking forward to you, Alex.  And all the blessings and joy you will bring to this family.  Your arrival outmeans we are getting closer to finishing our family and I simply can't wait for you to be here, safe and sound in our arms.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

{ mommy issues }

We've been having "mommy" issues lately.

Or maybe just personal space issues.  For the past week or so, whenever I am on the couch or laying down, Evan finds me and proceeds to literally lay on top of me.  Whether it's just against my side or on top of my legs, he squeezes his tiny body has close to mine as he possible can.

I normally don't really care and enjoy the extra cuddle time with my buddy, but since I haven't been feeling the best I've become a little more aggitated by this behavior than I normally would be.

He also finds me at night.  He'll go to sleep in his own bed, quite easily now (which has helped both his attitude and my sanity), but around 2 in the morning he'll come find me and proceed to squish that little body into mine.  I've been okay with Evan coming into bed with me or Mike on occassion, but it's now become a nightly event.

I'm not really sure why this has started all a sudden.  I don't know if it's because he sees that we're getting ready for baby and he'll soon no longer be the only in the house, or because I've been gone a lot more between work and all the doctor appointments I've been to.

I'm not exactly sure how to handle it either.  If he really is worried about where he'll stand once the Alex comes, I want to give him all the comfort I can.  But I know very shortly I'll have two boys that are constantly on top of me.

But at the same time I want to teach Evan about personal space and when it's okay to cuddle and when it's not.  Either way I figure I'm in for a fight.  I'm just hoping that when Alex does make his appearance we'll have this issue figured out.

{ good thing you're cute }

Friday, July 20, 2012

{ Friday Letters }

Dear Sleep Hater, you've been sleeping so much better since we've made some changes including bedtime routine, new "black out" drapes, and a brand spanking new twin sized bed.  You have seemed like a much happier boy waking up in the morning.  My sanity thanks you for that.

Dear Hubby, Thank you for dealing with me and all the craziness that has come with this pregnancy.  I know you weren't all to thrilled when the on call doctor wanted us to go in a couple nights ago...at least we were only there for about an hour.

Dear Body, I would really appreciate it if you stopped attacking yourself.  First the cold, then the cold sore, and lastly what we hope is just a really nasty uti  (I know...tmi...sorry).  I don't know if you are revolting against being pregnant or what, but if we could manage to stay some what healthy for the next 8 weeks, I would appreciate it.

Dear baby growing beneath my heart, only 8 weeks and 2 days!  All your baby things are taking over the apartment, but that's okay...I just can't wait to meet you and hold you in my arms.

Dear Costco, when I thought that I couldn't love you anymore than I do, we scored at Graco Pack and Play for less than $50 saving us at least $30 if not another $50 we could spend on other baby things.

Dear Camera...I know I've been ignoring the past few months...just know that starting tomorrow, you are going to get used a lot more.  Maybe to the point where you would wish I would just start ignoring you again.


Thursday, July 19, 2012

{ in the next year }

10 days ago, I turned 27.  My birthday wasn't much to talk about.  It was a good day, after work the boys took me out to dinner and we had ice cream cake.

But for the past few days, I've been reflecting on this past year and where I thought I would be by my 27th birthday.  The reality is completely different.  I am thankful for all the lessons I learned in the last year.  If I hadn't had those lessons, I don't think I would be ready for this upcoming year.

This upcoming year is going to be our year of change.  We'll be welcoming our second child,  Evan will be starting Kindergarten, I'll be saying goodbye to Bailey, and we're moving.  I also hope this will be our year for growth for becoming a stronger family unit, a stronger marriage, closer to our Heavenly Father, and for me personally to grow as a wife, mother, and person.

I've made a list of what our lives are like in this next year.  Almost like a checklist to keep me motivated during all the messes and business that comes with life.  So here we go...

* Two very heathly and happy boys:  Luckly Evan has always been very healthy.  But I know that Evan doesn't handle change well (just like his mommy) and all these transitions are going to be stressful on his little body.  I'm hoping that I'll be able to help make these transitions as easy as possible on him by getting him involved in some sort of after school activity and one on one dates with both Mike and I.  As for Alex, everything is still up in the air.  Which makes planning things hard.  Thankfully, he's active and big.  My goal is to continue to grow him big and strong and make the best decisions for Alex's kidney that we can.

*A stronger marriage with a monthly date night:  With all the running around I feel like we will be doing this next year, I know that Mike and I will need time to devote to just working on our marriage.  So I'm hoping that once Alex is a couple months old, Mike and I will be able to find a regular sitter and be able to spend some one on one time without our boys.

*Being Financially Fit:  One of our number one goals is to be able to buy a house, and after reading Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey, I'm hooked.  So when I go back to work after materity leave, we are going to start working through the steps, including saving an emergency fund and working through the debt snowball before saving for a down payment on a house.  My goal is for us to be buying and moving into our very own home in the next 2 years.

*For us to move and make it feel like home:  We have outgrown the apartment we are in.  We've stayed longer than we should have simply because it made sense financially.  But now, it's time to find a place that is a little bigger and has a washer and dryer (seriously...that's my main requirement for a new place).  I also want to make this new place "a home".  I've never really decorated where we're currently at and I'm not really sure why.  But it's time to make an effort in making our new place feel like a haven for me and all my boys.

*To be down to my pre-pregnancy weight:  This includes losing the weight I gained when pregnant with Evan.  Already at almost 31 weeks, I've only gained 15 pounds, which will help in the long run.  But Mike and I have decided to start eating "cleanly" (little to no processed food) and when registrations open up for certain 5K's, we're going to sign up early just to give ourselves a goal and motivate us to work out.

*Mike in school:  Seriously it's time.  I've told Mike that in the Fall of '13, I hope to return to school at least part time.  So Mike needs to get a head start so one of us will graduate before the other (or we graduate at the same time.)

*Growing closer to Heavenly Father:  We've already started reading the scriptures each night before bed, but I'm hoping that we'll be able to start attending church and activities on a regular basis.  I'm also trying to institute family home evenings and nightly family prayer.

*Filling up my SD card on my camera (heck maybe even a "grownup" camera) each month:  I've realized this past year, I haven't nearly taken all the pictures that I normally do.  It's my goal to start documenting our lives more and get back into scrapbooking by making yearly family scrapbooks.  This will probably also include blogging and keeping up with my personal journal on a daily basis.

*And lastly...personal growth:  Personally having a better relationship with Heavenly Father and myself.  Putting myself out there more and becoming more active in the church and really reaching out to other mothers with kids the same age as Evan.  I also want to really learn how to stop comparing myself to others and simply love and live the life I have...because it really is a good one.

So here's to a good year...I know it's going to be a busy one!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

{ pure craziness }

It really all started Saturday during some downtime while one of my clients was napping.  I had remembered that my sister had wanted Evan's toddler bed for my nephew, and in exchange we could have the twin bed and frame she had sitting in her basement.  At the time, I declined because I wasn't too sure about the whole idea and it was in the middle of winter and I was in no way going to attempt to haul beds back and forth in the middle of winter.

Fast forward to  when I was compiling our to do list for before Alex comes, I had questionably put "getting Evan a twin sized bed".  I figured if we got to it...great.  If not it would be one of the first big things we tackled when we moved after Alex was born.  But while I was sitting there, I figured that I would check and see if my sister was even still interested in the trade anymore.

A quick text message later, she was!

So I went home and told Mike that sometime this week we could exchange the beds.  Mike thought that yesterday (Monday) would be the best day.  I told him probably not since I was over-staffed (great for the money...horribly bad on my energy level) and wouldn't be home until after 6 pm.  Mike, however, was determined.

So Sunday we went out and bought bedding for Evan's new bed.  Just so when we got the bed back to our apartment Monday evening, we would have the sheets ready for his bed once we had gotten the frame all together.  But of course things are never that easy.

After Mike and Joe (my future brother in law) loaded up the truck, I went out to make sure that they had all the pieces.  They didn't, nor did Joe know where they were.  So instead of taking the frame and the mattress, we just took the mattress.  Evan ended up bunking with Mike when I slept on the couch last night, which is where I sleep most nights because it's more comfortable.

This evening after I got home from work (thankfully before 6pm) we spent the evening at Ikea.  We narrowed Evan's choices down to 3 and then let him pick the frame he liked best.  After he picked it out we went to go get all the boxes that go with his new bedframe...of course, the piece that holds up the bed was out of stock.  So we made the decision to try another piece to see if it would work.  It was meant for the same size bed, why wouldn't it work?

So as we speak, the sheets are drying (yea...apparently getting my husband to do laundry is out of the question), I'm trying to convince Evan to go to sleep on our bed (I'll move him once we get it all together...hopefully), and Mike has started the task of putting this frame together.

Let's hope it all works out because after work tomorrow, I really just want to sleep instead of running around like we have the past 3 days.  Or I'm really going to lose my mind....just sayin'.

Friday, July 13, 2012

{ friday's letters }


Dear Husband:  I love that no matter how cranky I've been because of work or from just being plain tired from growing a baby that you try to make me laugh.  I know that you are uber excited for baby #2 to arrive and I can't wait to go on this amazing adventure with you. 

 Dear Sleep-Hater:  I hope you understand that all the new things we are trying are to help you.  I know that you absolutely hate bed time and the idea of having to miss out on something drives you up the wall, but I know that if you actually got all the sleep that your little body needed, you would feel a lot more awesome. 

Dear Baby Bump:  Only 9 more weeks and 2 days until you arrive.  I'm so freakin' excited to meet you and so is everyone else! 

Dear Friend:  It was so nice to finally catch up with you.  I know this might be mean to say, but I'm kinda glad moving to Argentina didn't work out and I wouldn't been too bummed if moving to Europe didn't pan out either.  The idea of having you leave for 2 years just doesn't seem very awesome to me.  Sorry...I just like you way too much to have you move across the world. 

Dear pediatric urology paperwork:  you are never ending.  Especially just for a consult.  I would just love it if you could magically fill yourself out so I had one less thing to worry about this next week. 

Dear Sun:  You are on my list.  I was wearing sunscreen and I am burnt to all heck.  I really don't appreciate it. 

Dear Summer:  While I'm not all to happy about the heat...I'm glad that you are here.  I just love the smell and fun that comes with summer.  Too bad you are already half over and the next thing I know it will be 30 below!

{  Seriously...I love your goofy grin Evan! }

{ instafriday }

Holy buckets it's been a while since I've posted an insta-friday post!

So I'm catching up and joining Jeannett at LifeRearranged for Instafriday!

life rearranged


1.  Waiting for dinner at Friday's is hard...so why not have your drinks attack each other
2.  Gallon of pickles at CostCo for under 5 bucks...score!
3 & 4.  The boys playing with sparklers...happy 4th of July!
5.  The DS has officially taken over our home...there isn't a time that I haven't found him on it.
6.  Evan's "Whatup?" face
7.  Spiderman slipper socks...we're obessed.
8.  My sleep hater up WAY TOO early even the birds....picture was taken at 530 am
9.  Evan is no longer in the "child" sizes for shoes...:(
10.  Spitting contest results...what my clients can talk me and the nurses into.
11.Only my child would love to pick up horse poop.  I'm serious.  He loves to muck out stalls.
12. Mr. Bailey
13& 14.  After watching "MythBusters :: Super Hero Edition, Evan morphed himself into his own super hero...SONIC!

With the summer almost being over and Alex being here in a little more than 9 weeks...I hope I can remember to pull out the camera more!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

{ sleep hater }

He's come out 5 times since we put him to bed about an hour ago.  This happens every.single.night.  And he's 6.   Don't most kids by this time sleep through the night?  Or at least go to bed?

Evan's always hated sleep or any kind of rest ever since he was born.  I'm not exactly sure what kind of parties he thinks Mike and I are having after he goes to bed.  We (or guess I) pretty much hit the sack as soon as I lay him down for the night.

And while it's annoying that he just can't settle down, I've been "okay" with it because within about 30 to 45 minutes he eventually passes out and wakes up a somewhat happy child.  However, the past 2 weeks he's been waking up like he's been snorting pixie sticks in his sleep.  Completely angry and bitter at the world for the sun rising.

 Tomorrow, we're going to try some new tactics, although I'm sure it's going to take a while to figure out what will work for him and us.  I'm hoping that I can get these in place before Alex makes his appearance in just shy of 10 weeks.

Otherwise I'm sure we'll be screwed.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

{ 49 days }

49 days, that's all.

In 49 days, Bailey will be moving to Kansas to be with my mom.  It was a hard decision that I have been playing around with since I found out I was pregnant with Alex.  The idea of selling Bailey seemed a little too much for me, but giving him to my mom where he will be used and ridden on a regular basis was something that I could handle.

It wasn't a matter of being able to afford to keep him or not with another baby on the way, it was really looking at what our lives are going to be like for the next several years.  I simply won't have the time because I have other priorities and dreams that I need to follow now.

The dream of horse ownership was has been wonderful the past 3 years.  Being able to share my passion with my son and have him love it as much as I do has been completely wonderful.   Saying goodbye to my 4-legged therapist and companion will be hard, but I know that this is the best decision for everyone at this moment.

And while I chase my other dreams and take care of the other priorities, I'll still be able to visit the other horses at the ranch for some much needed peace whenever needed.  I know this isn't the end of my passion or dream of horse ownership...it's just going to be on pause for now, while we grow our family, complete our degrees, and hopefully move into our forever home.