Sunday, January 26, 2014

{ i'm not loving you right }

Sitting in a cold room in church, huddled with a few other ladies, listening to the speaker about how to we all love differently, it hit me.  I have not been loving my husband the right way.  Or at least the way he feels loved the most.

On Thursday, while it was brutally cold here in MN, I gathered with a handful of church ladies to hear a therapist speak on the 5 love languages.  I'm so glad I braved the elements and attended.  It hit me hard as her words spoke to my heart and I could immediately understand why Mike and I have had most of the fights that we have had.

We each feel loved in completely different ways.  We try to show each other love in different ways, and they don't match up.  For example, Mike loves to try to surprise me with gifts.  I'm not a very good gift receiver.  For me, gifts aren't always freely given and I'm not exactly sure how to reciprocate.  As well as, my idea of gift or surprise is Mike planning an evening for us without me having to make phone calls for babysitters or figuring out what restaurant to eat at or movie to see.  As petty as it sounds, it has started epic fights because I don't react the way I know Mike hopes that I will.  I have been trying to be better in receiving his gifts and understanding that he's just trying to shower me with his love and make sure that I have pretty things.

It also opened my eyes to how I feel loved the most, and now I feel like I can better communicate to Mike what I need from our relationship to feel loved best by him.

I do hope that by reading the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, that Mike and I will be able to better communicate to each other how we each feel loved best and do our best to show each other our love by speaking in that language.

1 comment:

  1. I've always wanted to read The 5 Love Languages and I think it would benefit our marriage as well. Thanks for sharing.