Monday, October 15, 2012

{ october 15 }

Today is Pregnancy/Infant Loss Awareness day.  Our family has been affected by this twice.  We lost our precious niece October '10, and I miscarried last year in August.

After waiting so long to add to our family, I was devastated at the loss of Charlie (the name we gave the baby we lost).  After going through both the emotional and physical pain of miscarrying, it was hard to watch the miscarriage scene from "What to Expect When You're Expecting"  because I had been there.  Lying on a hospital bed, crossing my fingers that the bleeding I had been experiencing was just a hiccup in a other wise healthy pregnancy, only to be told there was no heartbeat and I was in fact miscarrying.

I wasn't an easy few months while I recovered and while I had gotten pregnant with sweet Alex just a few months later, it still stung to see the babies that were due around the same time that Charlie was.

However, Alex has been my silver lining in all this.  He was the baby I was meant to have.  I will always carry a place in my heart for the baby I never met and hold out hope that we will never have to experience it again.

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